Life as an On-Campus Student

March 27th, 2012

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One Response to “Life as an On-Campus Student”

  1. salvarez on April 12, 2012 1:12 pm

    Some cool research happening on your blog Danna. This ad, do you find it deceptive? What demographic gets profiled as the University of Phoenix student?


    I couldn’t leave comments on your page for Essay 2, so I will leave them here.

    First, I like the section breaks you used with the subtitles. I hope you keep experimenting with those in your writing and breaking your essays into smaller sections, or smaller essays. In fact, what you will do with your next essay will be building off some of those conclusions you draw here about your QC experience. You will be asked to document some of those things you notice around your college and upload them to your blog.

    The PIE paragraphs also look great. I like how you gave long E sections. Some of them might be able to be broken up, but for now they stand well. If you decide to use some material for your next essay from this one, you might be able to use some of those long E sections you wrote.

    I enjoyed when you critiqued QC at the end. That was forcefully argued. I also like how you started the argument to structure the essay as well. You should also mention something about the titles of the sections you made here in this intro section. This makes a backwards way of structuring arguments to points.

    For your works cited:

    –Make sure you put the title of the video in quotaton marks.

    –You cited some of these sources incorrectly. They all came from YouTube, so they all follow the format for “A Page on a Web Site”

    Your writing’s improved, there’s more authority behind your arguments. It will be great to see how you will add critical voices to your arguments.

    6.5 out of 7 points.

    Make sure to have perfect MLA formatting for the works cited.

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